Had a Hard Day

We don't know if its because she's almost three, if its because she doesn't nap anymore, or if its because she had too much Valentine's candy, but our sweet girl has been having really rough days. She says its because we "don't do what she wants to do," but I know that's not true. I think its more of we don't do what she wants to do ALL THE TIME. She finds comfort in reading books, her papa's arms and holding a crucifix of Jesus. She will even admit at the end of the day, "I was mean today."

It's hard as a mom because when your child disobeys while looking directly into your eyes; it hurts. I want reconciliation; I want her to be truly sorry when she asks for my forgiveness. But 90% of the time she doesn't seem like she is sorry, it seems that she is saying it because we are asking her to. But, it doesn't matter. I'm called to love like Christ and to forgive her, to not keep a record of her wrongs and to not retaliate or be mean back to make myself feel "better."

For sure, learning to truly love is a life long lesson. Thank God we have a good and patient teacher! Thank God for confession.

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

I am also learning that its okay if each day isn't perfect. Its okay that some days (or weeks) are just HARD. It's okay if everyone is crying (including me) when Jason isn't home or that a day when nothing gets done isn't a wasted or a "bad" one. Those are days to lean on our Savior and trust in his loving will, that this is good for us, and that my kids will not be "messed up" because things didn't run smoothly. A good friend, Liz Carpenter (check out her blog to the right!) said that you can't fight the chaos, you just have to go with it, and its so true. So here I am, one step at a time, learning to let go, to accept, and to love despite the circumstances.