Nursing

So I think it is over. When John Henry showed NO interest in stopping nursing despite treats offered, tickles and other distractions, I planned on tandem nursing (nursing both a baby and a toddler). I read books, went to a La Leche League meeting to ask questions and prepared my heart for what that would be like. I was nervous, but I felt like forcing John Henry to wean was not the answer. Then a couple of weeks later, John Henry stopped asking to nurse. Nothing was different, he was just too busy playing to ask. One day when by, two days, three days... He finally asked to nurse again on the forth day, but I was able to distract him by tickling him. We haven't nursed since. Part of me is happy about this. I love new ways of cuddling with him. But I'm sad that we didn't have a "final session." It just ended. I am thankful however that the week before he stopped nursing, I took a ton of pics of us. I'll end with a picture of his sweet feet. I know I post a lot of Henry feet pics, but Henry's feet rubbing was one of his cutest nursing habits.

Margaret Mary's New Face

We call this the "furrowed brow." She makes this face ALL THE TIME: when she is concerned about something not happening, when she is sad, she she is asking for something. It always accompanies the phrases "but nobody is helping me" (which means, you aren't helping me the way I want you to) or "but I really want to," or "but I really love it" (which means how could you tell me no?!) or "anybody is not holding me" ( which means I need some personal attention). It makes us laugh and I realize that I make this brow face a lot as well. She sometimes will make it and say "do you like this face?"

For the record, we hold her and help her all the time. But she is two and wants what she wants all the time. The other day she ran to the bedroom yelling "I want to do what I want to do!!!" Where does she learn this stuff?

Learning the Way of the Cross

(This pic was not posed. MM was really upset before her nap missing her Papa. She finally asked to "hold a cross with Jesus on it," and she fell asleep holding it. I couldn't resist taking a picture).

This morning, Margaret Mary couldn't wait to go to Mass to see her friends. She knew exactly what she wanted to do: play house. She would be the baby, Mary Grace would be the Mama and Henry would be the baby. After Mass when she got to play, it became obvious that although Mary Grace was excited to see her, she didn't want to play house at all.

On the way home Margaret Mary talked about this. She didn't understand. She wanted to play what SHE wanted to play. She didn't want to play anything else. This Lent we have been talking to her about sacrifice, about the way of the Cross, and how it is the true picture of love. It is about rising above your own desires and acknowledging the worth of those around us by seeking their good first. What games does Mary Grace want to play? What would happen if we forced Mary Grace to play house? Would she have fun? Would she want to play again? It is a lot for a little girl to take it. It is a lot for ME to take in. Can I leave the last cookie on the plate for my husband? Maybe, depends on the cookie. :) For a friend? For a stranger? Chances are pretty low.

It is sweet to see her put the pieces together in her little way. We made a crown of thorns out of play dough and toothpicks and have it on the centerpiece on the table. When we make a sacrifice for someone out of Love for Jesus, we take out a toothpick. It's a fun way to keep focus during the forty days of lent. I love it when Margaret Mary comes running to me with big eyes "Mommy, Mommy, I made a sacrifice!" Most of the time she gives Henry a toy he wants. Although small, it makes my heart swell seeing my little girl learn how to love. And not just the sentimental mushy emotional kind of love; the hard work, laying down your desires, seeking the best for others, sweaty kind of love.

Seriously,

Is anything better than Papa's arms?

Whether they calm down a fussy toddler,


Or cuddle our little ones awake from a nap with a story,




His arms are unbeatable. We love you Jason!

P.S. Happy Ash Wednesday! I wanted to get pics of the kids with their ashes, but by the end of Mass, they had already rubbed them off on our shirts. Oh well. Maybe next year!

P.P.S- John Henry loves babydolls. He is such a boy though. He will ask us to wrap up his doll, bounce the baby, shush the baby and then turn right around and either chew on its head or throw it on the floor for a different toy. We are just happy that he likes babies!

I promise...

One day we will get a picture of Margaret Mary and I where we are both looking at the camera...

At least we got a shot of this little one! I am in the last trimester and call this the tired and emotional stage. Almost everything makes me cry. :) I am so in love with the little one inside me and I can't get over how I have NO CLUE who is inside me. Boy? Girl? Fiesty? Quiet? This baby is going to rock our family's world, and I have no clue how. Come on 40 weeks...or should I say 42 weeks? I can't wait to meet you baby Craig #3!

Had a Hard Day

We don't know if its because she's almost three, if its because she doesn't nap anymore, or if its because she had too much Valentine's candy, but our sweet girl has been having really rough days. She says its because we "don't do what she wants to do," but I know that's not true. I think its more of we don't do what she wants to do ALL THE TIME. She finds comfort in reading books, her papa's arms and holding a crucifix of Jesus. She will even admit at the end of the day, "I was mean today."

It's hard as a mom because when your child disobeys while looking directly into your eyes; it hurts. I want reconciliation; I want her to be truly sorry when she asks for my forgiveness. But 90% of the time she doesn't seem like she is sorry, it seems that she is saying it because we are asking her to. But, it doesn't matter. I'm called to love like Christ and to forgive her, to not keep a record of her wrongs and to not retaliate or be mean back to make myself feel "better."

For sure, learning to truly love is a life long lesson. Thank God we have a good and patient teacher! Thank God for confession.

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

I am also learning that its okay if each day isn't perfect. Its okay that some days (or weeks) are just HARD. It's okay if everyone is crying (including me) when Jason isn't home or that a day when nothing gets done isn't a wasted or a "bad" one. Those are days to lean on our Savior and trust in his loving will, that this is good for us, and that my kids will not be "messed up" because things didn't run smoothly. A good friend, Liz Carpenter (check out her blog to the right!) said that you can't fight the chaos, you just have to go with it, and its so true. So here I am, one step at a time, learning to let go, to accept, and to love despite the circumstances.

The Snow is Starting to Melt

The kids love to find sticks that have fallen to the ground and walk with them, stick them in the snow, eat them, occasionally hit each other with them, etc. Henry loves to try to climb up all the little snow mounds.

I love how the snow mirrors the look of the beach. It makes it so magical.

Henry is still a little clumsy walking in the snow, so he likes to hold hands. I don't mind at all!

Even though Jason is really good at taking pictures, I'm not good at sharing my camera, which is why there are so few pictures of me. At least my hands will be remembered!

What MM just said moments ago...

Me: Why do you want Papa to hold you?
MM: Because he's so soft! (nuzzling her face into his neck. So sweet)

MM Quotes of the Day

MM: Mommy, I want to watch Caillou.
Me: Honey, Mama and Papa don't like Caillou. (Too many underlying political messages for a kids show). What other show would you like to watch?
MM: I have an idea. (Dramatic pause) Why don't you put on Caillou, go to the kitchen, and when Cailou is over, you can come back in!

I just sat there stunned. I say this in every blog post, but when did she grow up so fast?

Margaret Mary wanted to make cookies for her friends that we were going to visit yesterday. She was very excited and I was happy to see her generous heart.

Me: Margaret Mary, I like how you want to make something special for your friends. You are very kind.
MM: And YOU are very kind to help me!


Here she is enjoying an evening read with her papa. Yes, it is in the bathroom. Henry was taking a bath (to help with his cold).


Boy does this girl LOVE her Papa! Henry really does too. Jason went to help a friend and was gone Friday night through Saturday night. When he came back, Henry wouldn't let him put him down! It seems like 16 months is the age when my kids REALLY define their relationship with their Papa. They trust him, love him and really show that they miss him when he's gone. Jason eats it up!

Trucks and Computers

If there are two things John Henry loves (besides Mama, Papa and Margaret Mary), they are trucks and computers. John Henry loves playing with all his little cars and trucks and I often find one shelf of our bookshelf cleared with remnants of John Henry play on them.


He likes to line them up, make them crash and roll them around on the floor. It is pretty cute. He also has a very loyal following of books about his beloved vehicles. (He gets mad when it is Margaret Mary's turn to pick out a book to read. He pushes her book away, tries to put his book in front of hers, screams, etc. Is he a little brother or what? When he wants you to come read to him, he will get a book down from the shelf, sit on a chair and then pat beside him for you to come sit. You can't say no).


John Henry's other love is the computer. If we leave the study door open and see John Henry go around the corner, we know we will find him like this:


What he can do on the computer is amazing. Just by pushing a few random buttons he has rearranged every icon on our desktop, set our clock to New York time, edited my pictures on Picasa, etc. He likes to look at pictures I've taken and laughs at pictures he finds of him. What's amazing is every single time we take him away from it, he screams and cries for quite a while.
He just wont accept the fact that the computer is off limits. We have found that the best solution is to move the chair far away from the computer so he can't reach the keyboard. He cries when we do this too; its like we are the meanest, most unreasonable parents ever. The other day at the thrift store, the kids found a little kid laptop in the toy section. It didn't' work, but John Henry laid down on his belly, right there in the middle of the store, and began typing away. We really should have bought it....

Our only guess is that he inherited this love of trucks from his from Grandad, and his love of computers from his Pawpaw.


What a fun little guy!

My Wife is Sleeping

I'm a bit bored. I usually take a break from studies on Thursdays after Katie goes to sleep, but she fell asleep early while putting Henry down. That leaves me with a couple of hours to fill. Don't worry, I'll manage, but I thought of this: I could write about her!

She's sleeping because she's exhausted. She's exhausted because she has been very busy loving. She cooks, cleans, chases, and plans. Every year she gets this house more orderly and smooth-running. She is constantly about one thing - our welfare. The whole time, you might remember, she is giving herself to that little human person in the womb. President Obortion doesn't protect that baby, but she does. (Keep politics out of it??? Nevaaah!! Viva reality!)

She really is a model of a women, though she is way more attractive than a model. Every night, she's excited to talk with me. I'm excited too. She's actually interested in me day after day and I'm more interested in her. She is my best friend. She sits through my rants. Her heart literally aches for love of us. I cannot even imagine her making a decision that could remotely harm this family. Whatever the cost, she loves. It's hard and it shows. If love is a choice and a sacrifice, she embodies it.

Thank you my dear wife for everything. I'll see you in the morning as I drink the coffee you made for me before I got up.

Honesty

It really is amazing how much Margaret Mary is able to communicate to us. Everyday we are shocked by something she said, at how well she is able to know herself and her desires at this age.

Here are a couple of examples:

Papa: Margaret Mary, do you want to sleep in your toddler bed tonight?
MM: No. I want to sleep with you.
Papa: Why don't you want to sleep in your toddler bed?
MM: It's just because sometimes, I get a little scared.

Papa: Do you know why you're upset?
MM: I didn't listen to Mama because I was sad, but now I don't want to be sad, but I can't stop being sad!
(Haven't we all experienced this??? My mama heart melted with sympathy!)

Me: Hold on baby. I am right in the middle of something, I will be there to help you in one minute.
MM: (With tears of frustration in her eyes) But it is so hard for me to wait!

Me: No baby, you can't watch a movie right now.
MM: But I LOVE movies so so much, they are my favorite!
(This is how she tries to talk us into everything. For example: "But I LOVE lollipops so so much, they are my favorite!)

Thank you Lord for these little glimpses into our daughter's heart!

The pics from this post were taken today while MM was busy making a fort out of all the pillows from our bed. :)

Her innocence is so beautiful!

What's Sweeter?

What's sweeter than a little apron tied in a perfect bow?


Two little feet on tiptoe as to peer over the counter top?


A blue-eyed blonde that is sooo excited to bake with her mama?


A heart shaped cookie?


How about a whole tray of them? Yum!


How we spent our Valentine's day. :)

Margaret Mary took GREAT pride in making heart shaped cookies for Valentine's day. She wanted to do everything: measure the flour, pour the flour, stir, etc. It took a lot of self restraint on my part not to try to super control everything and to let her make a little mess, but it was worth it. I found myself falling more and more in love with her during the whole process. What a sweetheart!

"Pack Packs"

Margaret Mary has always liked hoarding things. She will load up a basket, a bag, anything, with all the toys she can find and then transfer it around from room to room. When she began to watch Dora, she fell in love with the "pack pack." I found her one at a consignment store, but it had a ballerina on it who was a little more sketchy then we would have liked. When Martin (the kids Grandad) gave us a gift card to LLBean for Christmas, I couldn't wait to order the kids matching backpacks. Margaret Mary was so excited, and asked each day if her pack packs had come yet. When they came, the kids LOVED them! Henry looked too cute walking around with a backpack almost the same size as him. I am also really excited about the kids carrying some of their own things when going out; my diaper bag is only so big!

Valentine's Day Card, and the story behind it...

Happy Valentine's Day!



I took these pics to email to our sweet families. Little did I know how HARD it would be to get some decent pics of the kids. First of all, who wants to sit still and hold a heart pillow while being outside? I was able to bribe Margaret Mary for a few minutes...


...But forgot to leave room (white space) for text in the photo. Henry was another story completly. I was basically chasing him while trying to take pictures and only got ONE picture of him with the heart pillow in it. I did get some cute ones of just him though...

What Henry really wanted to do was to play in the dirt...Forget the pink fluffy thing!


And this is what was left of the sweet heart pillow...


We had one more go at the dinosaur log, but the kids were too busy playing to give the camera a look. Oh well, Valentine picture taking was officially finished.



Hope we were able to make you smile!

One more pic that I love of MM. She is the sweetest. When did she get to be so big?